***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
