At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize