Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
