i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
