I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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