Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
a search helicopter?!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize