sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
