i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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