Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
