This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
