I wish i was in the wii world.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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