Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
