you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
