We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize