i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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