yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
