Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I understand Curling. That high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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