My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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