he was CRYING into my vagina
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
