ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i now understand why vodka
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
