The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
