I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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