All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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