what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
