I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
