Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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