What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
