Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
