Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
