She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
