her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
