I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
