i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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