I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
