It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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