I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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