Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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