I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
