I love black thongs
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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