Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
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