She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
