Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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