So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
