so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
