did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
