The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
