You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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