is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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