Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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