Already got asked if we're dating
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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