the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
