So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
