He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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