do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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