my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
