I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
