That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
