how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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