operation harelip BJ is a go
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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