WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
