Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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