He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
