You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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