so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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