Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
