he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
