Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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