every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
