she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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