whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
