i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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