Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
